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When we ask “should I do” this or that, we’re enabling the habit of pretending to take action.
I have a friend who works at a local television station news program. I have a show to promote. Obviously, asking how to get on the show is something I should do.
Except, I had to think about it. Think through all the implications. I haven’t done a TV interview in a while. I don’t want my friend to think I’m taking advantage of our relationship. Blah blah blah…
I asked him. I’ll be on the 7 am morning newscast the Friday of opening weekend.
Opportunity is. It isn’t everywhere. It isn’t magic. No amount of positive thinking can bring more to us. It just is.
If I choose to seek out the opportunities that fill my environment, I’ll see them. If I choose to begin from the assumption that there aren’t many opportunities, and worse, that most of them are too risky, I’ll fail to pick up on the opportunities that surround me.
That’s the secret of positive thinking. If I seek I find. If I don’t seek, I can’t hope to find.
How about you? Trust yourself and your community. Act. Now. We’re waiting on you to bring something special to the table.
Self-sufficiency as an artist includes this: you do not need anyone’s approval to create. You need no one’s permission to make your art. You are totally free to do whatever you want to do with your life and craft.
I have a performance coming up. Born Again Yesterday will be playing the Nightingale Theater in Tulsa, OK, on November 15th and 22nd. As I prepare for this new iteration of the show, I’m plagued with doubts.
Can I say these things? Who might be offended? What will my friends/family say? Will any of it matter to anyone? Will it be relevant? Will I just be wasting everyone’s time?
All of this is approval-seeking. It’s a bad practice. It halts creation. It hampers momentum. It gets in the way.
So what do I do?
I acknowledge the questions. Like Havi illustrates frequently, I talk to the fears and frustrations. I identify what concerns they’re alerting me to. I take note of those…
And then I act ANYWAY.
If I don’t acknowledge the fear, I won’t get past it. So acknowledge it. Then act. I leave this with a little ditty from one of my annually-read novels.
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
- Frank Herbert, Dune
Whew it’s been a week!
Lucia di Lammermoor opens at the Chapman Music Hall here in Tulsa one week from today and I feel so lucky to be a part of this show. I’m in the chorus, so I’m singing (Tenor II) with about fifty others at various times in the performance. The rest of the time, I have a better-than-front-row seat for some of the loveliest voices I’ve ever heard. If you’re gonna be in Tulsa in the next couple of weeks, come see the opera.
I began to record some of the rehearsal yesterday to share with you. So beautiful, this music. I was in tears, man. But I had to stop.
It occurred to me that this recording of rehearsal might be against the rules. So I asked. It was. No video or audio of the rehearsals. Violation of various contracts with the artists, you know.
These people are professionals. They have agents and contracts and are making a living from singing for other people. They expect to get paid for doing this thing that they are very good at. I agree with that sentiment. I quit recording them and destroyed what I’d videoed.
As I’ve listened to them, and even more as I have listened to the younger members of the chorus who are currently training to be opera singers, I flash back nearly two decades to my own early training. To my voice teacher telling me that what I was doing was “Hot Shit!” and trying to encourage me to pursue a vocal-centric arts path.
Which I didn’t really do.
Which I find myself regretting.
And now, here I am with these pros and these kids, seeing what could have been.
I used to be really, really good.
I’m not gonna lie. Part of this experience really sucks. The temptation to regret, and to let regret have free rein, is so powerful.
Nothing could be more destructive.
The response I have to make to this set of things I should have done years ago is to DO THEM NOW.
I can still hone the voice. I can still audition for roles. I can still pursue the dream.
Is it harder now? Sure. I have “responsibilities” like every other adult.
But life ain’t getting any longer. I want to spend more of what time I get to spend in the world with these kinds of creative, artful endeavors.
So I am choosing that path.
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