This is kind of a rant and kind of a declaration of intent and kind of a early-draft manifesto.
I’m sick of not working full time as an artist.
Over the last few weeks my life has changed drastically. I am in rehearsal for three shows. One, Hot L Baltimore with Theater Tulsa, which I’m doing for free. Two, Chorus of Lucia di Lammermoor with the Tulsa Opera, which will pay a small stipend. Three, Born Again Yesterday, the subject of this site, which will pay or not depending on ticket sales.
And then by day I work at a restaurant about 30 hours a week.
Money is a topic of great fear for artists. Most of us have no idea how to make money doing the art. We can get a regular job. We can’t get any money for doing what we love.
Some people I’ve worked with here in Tulsa and across the country are adamant that they are doing theater “because they love it” and aren’t interested in money. I call bullshit on this. These people are allowing their fear to make decisions for them. I know, ’cause it’s me, too.
When we spend 30, 40, 50 or more hours per week doing something which doesn’t necessarily inspire or drive us just because it is the easiest way to get our hands on some money, and then we spend a fraction of that time on our passion…
One of two things is true. Either we’ve given up on our art, or we love the money more. Don’t tell me you love the art if you’re willing to settle for a life devoted to doing the art only in your spare time and if you can summon the energy.
I want and expect to get paid for doing my art. I’ve worked my ass off to become very, very good at what I do and doing it for free kills me. I do it, for free, I give it away because right now that is the path I have set for myself. This show at Theater Tulsa, for example, is free. I’m not getting paid. I’m meeting great people. I’m doing a good job. I’m getting a credit for my resume. In a real way, all of that matters.
In a real way, none of it does.
Would we think this way of a plumber who came to our home, 20 years into her career, charging us a truly professional wage? Would we say, well, she should just do it because she loves it? I know a couple of plumbers. They love it. They see art in what they do. They’d never dream of doing it for free.
I’m done with that nightmare myself.
This year has been one of the best in my life. I think of it as The Year of the Upgrade, because everything in my life is improving. Here’s one of the Upgrades: no more working for free. I’m a professional performance artist and writer. I have rent, bills to pay, debts to pay off. I have financial obligations like anyone else. I won’t fail to meet those because of a lack of gumption on my part.
That’s what it comes down to, you see. My choices. My actions. Opportunity exists. I must simply reach for it, draw it close and embrace it. The choice is mine.
